


What a Long, Strange Trip It's Been

by XioNin



Category: SKAM (Norway)
Genre: A little angst, M/M, Road Trip, Sexy Times, Weddings, a lot of fluff, charming Even, nerdy Isak, scenic Norway
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-11
Updated: 2018-08-20
Packaged: 2019-06-25 22:47:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15650475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/XioNin/pseuds/XioNin
Summary: On hiatus.When Isak receives an invitation to his best friend’s wedding, he revisits his first heartbreak.To get away from Isak’s situation at home, and his one track life, Jonas insists that Isak join him and his boyfriend Mikael on a road trip across the Norway. Jonas mentions that the trip was planned by Mikael’s friend Even. Isak and Even connect instantly and, learning more about Even's lifestyle, he learns there more to life than books and studying. As the trip comes to an end, Even tells him that he got accepted to a college in America, breaking Isak's heart.Five years later, Even runs into Isak at Jonas and Mikael’s wedding. He drags Isak around to explore the picturesque town, and it's just like old times. Even realizes he has feelings for Isak. He doesn’t want to give up his nomadic life and settle in Oslo, but Even also can’t lose Isak again. What will he do?





	1. Beginnings

**Author's Note:**

  * For [art_vandeley_art](https://archiveofourown.org/users/art_vandeley_art/gifts).



> This was written for the SKAM Reverse Bang, and was inspired by Ayesha's amazing art and her love for the storyline of one of her favourite films. I haven't seen the movie, but I'm going to run with this anyway and hope I do it justice. Updates won't be daily, but I'll update regularly. Promise.
> 
> Alt er love!  
> Xio

“May I get everyone’s attention for a moment?" Ernesto Vasquez lifted his glass and tried to get the assembled group to quiet down.

Isak shook his head, grinning as the man's attempt was swallowed in the cacophony of conversations and raucous laughter. Jonas's dad was smiling so hard his eyes had almost disappeared into his plump cheeks. Weddings were, after all, joyous occasions.

Even from the other end of the long hall, Isak could almost hear the man’s laughter over the multitude of voices.

Mrs. Vasquez, Ellen, leaned over and clinked a spoon against the side of an empty water glass. Her smile, too, was radiant and full of joy.

“We’re so glad you could make the trip to Flåm this weekend to share this with our family.” Ernesto held a glass of champagne in one hand, his other arm wrapped firmly around the tiny waist of his wife. They were both so happy.

Isak was happy too. Well, he aimed to be. Even if it killed him.

After all, how could anyone be anything but content while nursing a glass of Ægir beer on a gorgeous summer day at the picturesque mouth of the Aurlandsfjord? Maybe if he weren’t also nursing yet another self-inflicted broken heart, Isak would be ecstatic. He was in this stunning location, with friends he hadn’t seen in years, to celebrate the marriage of his best friend to one of the nicest people Isak had ever met.

A big part of Isak was thrilled. Chuffed. Proud and hopeful.

But another part of him, a part that Isak wished he could just quell - smash down, Hulk-like, into smithereens until nothing remained of the pain and jealousy – _that_ part chattered loudly in his ears.

_When do you get your happy-ever-after, Isak? Will you?_

As it was after every break-up, Isak's answer was ‘no and never’.

Like the enormous cruise ship partially blocking his view of the fjord, Isak’s enthusiasm for Jonas and Mikael’s pending nuptials was half-hearted. And he hated himself for it.

“Look at our beautiful son and his wonderful betrothed,” Ernesto continued, while everyone looked on.

Somewhat reluctantly, Isak turned to watch Jonas and Mikael. It hurt.

Jonas gazed at Mikael as if he’d placed the stars in the sky just for him, and Isak knew Mikael had it just as bad for Jonas. The twinkle in his eye was probably visible from space.

Isak truly believed Jonas and Mikael were meant to be together. Where Jonas could be intense, Mikael evened him out with his playfulness. Mikael's calm demeanor was a counterbalance to Jonas and his chaotic theories. They were just fucking perfect for each other.

But Isak had known Jonas far longer, well before Jonas realized he was bisexual. So, why hadn’t he ever considered Isak as boyfriend material? Ridiculous as this thought was, Isak's brain screamed _why not me?_

His jaw clenched with the anger he couldn’t seem to shake. Anger that was irrational, and unreasonable, and utterly childish. It was pathetic because Isak knew the answer. He and Jonas were best friends, practically family. Aside from The Year That Shall Not Be Mentioned, when Isak thought he was in love with Jonas, Isak had only ever thought of him like a brother.

Now, there was Mikael with his rich, tan skin and bright smile. Those soulful brown eyes of his filled with utter adoration for the man beside him.

Isak tried to picture himself standing next to Mikael instead. He couldn’t. Mikael was meant for Jonas, not for him.

After yet another failed relationship, it didn't look like happy-ever-after was in the cards for Isak. Jonas had met his soon-to-be-husband on their first day at university, for fuck’s sake.

One by one, all of Isak’s friends had either paired off since graduation or met their significant others. Some had gotten married, others had settled into the kind of of domesticity that, even at twenty-four, seemed like a pipe dream to Isak.

Settling down with someone and building a life with them? A life that lasted more than a month or three? In theory, Isak knew it was possible. He’d seen it. Hell, he was in town to celebrate it but he couldn’t kill the bitterness inside his gut. The jealousy, the envy. God… He was the worst human on the planet.

Because Isak thought – maybe – he had found his someone, once upon a time.

* * *

 

_Five years ago_

“This is going to be epic.” Jonas made the declaration as if it were a forgone conclusion.

Ever since Jonas had floated the idea of a road trip with him and Mikael, Isak had nursed reservations. And when Mikael suggested a fourth person to even things out, Isak had almost backed out right then and there. He didn’t do well with new people, especially when he was getting over a bad breakup and stressing out over his grades. He had a sneaking suspicion Jonas and Mikael were trying to set him up, and he definitely was _not_ having that.

“Watch, it’ll be the best trip you’ve ever taken.”

Isak wasn’t convinced. “You keep saying that, but all I am picturing is me sightseeing alone while you two try to bang every chance you get.”

“Not saying we won’t,” Mikael replied, laughing. “But we wouldn’t leave you to your own devices. You’ll have company, remember?”

“Yeah, the company of someone I don’t even know.”

“You’ll love Even.” Mikael grinned at Isak. “And I know he’s gonna love you.”

“There he is!”

Isak turned away from an excited Jonas only to be assaulted by the sight of the man walking towards the group. The guy was insultingly good-looking. He was the kind of handsome that made Isak’s teeth itch and his dick swell without sufficient reason. His scowl deepened.

“Who the fuck is that?” As if he didn't know already.

"Even." Though he couldn’t see it, Isak could hear the smug smile in Jonas’s voice.

Shit.

The guy was 195 centimeters, at least, and slender as a reed. Long, wheat-blond hair curled over his ears and swept down in front of his eyes. A wide, toothy grin split his gorgeous face.

“Halla!” Oh, Jesus, that voice. Deep and resonant and designed to be whispered into someone’s ear.

Isak was so fucked.

Pushing past Isak, Mikael met Even with a vigorous hug and a loud slap on his back. Even’s long arms practically swallowed Mikael whole, and Isak couldn’t help but want to be enveloped the same way.

He looked up and found Even’s eyes on him. Surprised, Isak’s instinct was to run. Instead, he scowled at the interloper.

Even smiled and it was predatory. The tip of his pink tongue peeked out from behind plump lips to tease the point of one canine as he continued to eye Isak. Even as he hugged and greeted Jonas, Even’s eyes never left Isak.

And what the fuck?

“You must be Isak.” Even moved forward, his arms open, and time stood still.

Though they hadn’t made contact, Isak could already feel Even wrapped around him. Could feel his warmth, and the softness of his breath against his neck. Isak could hear Even whispering into his ear, filthy sweet things that would set his blood on fire. He knew, with absolute certainty, how good Even would feel beneath him, above him, and beyond.

Isak jumped at the first touch of Even’s hand on his arm.

Frowning, Even froze. “What’s wrong?”

“What are you doing?” Isak’s voice sounded like someone had forced him to swallow gravel.

Even’s frown softened and he smiled, confused. “I was going to give you a hug.”

“I don’t know you. And I don’t need a hug, thanks.” Isak felt like an asshole, but he couldn’t help it.

“Don’t be a dick, Isak.” Jonas shook his head and walked back over to Mikael and the pile of gear that still needed to be loaded into the van.

“It’s fine,” Even said, loud enough for the others to hear. He studied Isak’s face, searched it for something.

Isak didn’t know what he was looking for, and he hated how red he knew his cheeks were.

“You definitely need a hug,” Even said. “But I should have asked before I invaded your personal space. I’m sorry.”

His sincerity caught Isak by surprise and he struggled to form a response. “I…uh…”

Even smirked and took a step closer. “Really, though, I think you need to be kissed. But we’ll work on that.”

Isak jerked away again. “What the hell? You don’t just say things like that to people you don’t know. What’s wrong with you?”

“Plenty.” Even shrugged. “Doesn’t make it any less true.”

Isak shook his head and bent to pick up his backpack. “This was a mistake. I’m not going on a road trip with you. You’d drive me crazy.”

A strange look passed behind Even’s eyes before his smirk morphed into something more dangerous. A feral smile.

“Only in the best way.” His gaze traveled the length of Isak’s body and back up to his eyes. “Already, I can tell you like me.”

“I really don’t.”

“Watch, we’re going to be best friends.”

“I already have a best friend.” Isak was being petulant and he really didn’t care.

Even tilted his head, his voice dropping to almost a whisper. “Lovers, then.”

Despite his instant dislike for this weirdo, heat shot through Isak’s bloodstream and began to pool in his groin. Even was staring at him, no doubt waiting for a reaction, and Isak fought hard not to give him one. But his face was aflame, he knew it.

Isak closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He needed to get out of there.

“Hey…”

Even’s soft tone made Isak look at him.

“I’m sorry. I’m just teasing you. Mostly.” Even smiled and it was different. Friendlier and less challenging. “I know I can be a lot but, I promise, I’ll behave on the trip. I’d really like it if you came along.”

“Why? You don’t know me.”

Even shrugged. “I’d like to, though. I think. And I don’t want to be a third wheel to those lovebirds. Don’t go.”

His last two words sounded more like a plea than a request.

Isak’s head was spinning. He didn’t know what to think, what to do. Though he’d been reluctant to agree to the trip, he’d been sort of looking forward to it.

“You guys,” Mikael shouted. “There’s enough room for one of you to stow your shit in the back, if you want.”

“Isak can have the space, I’ll keep my bag with me.” Even held Isak’s gaze, almost imploring him to stay.

Isak nodded. “Yeah, okay. Thanks.”

The look of relief on Even’s face did nothing to ease Isak’s confusion. Why was Even so keen on having Isak around? And why did Isak even care?

He broke eye contact with Even, ignoring the sense of loss that brought, picked up his bag and headed towards the back of the van.

This was going to be a long two weeks.


	2. Ghosts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak just needs to get through this week intact. The plan is to only be as social as he needs to be and spend the rest of the time hiding in his room. Yeah, that's the plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your comments and encouragement! This is a different kind of story for me, so I'm feeling my way through it. I hope you enjoy the ride! oxo

Isak stared in the mirror and pulled at his hair. It was overgrown, bordering on unkempt, and he wondered how he’d let himself get to such a state. Since his break up with Eirik, Isak hadn’t much cared about his appearance.

No, it had started before that, he realized. Maybe that’s why Eirik had drifted away. Maybe that’s why Isak had found him in the back of a club with his jeans around his ankles and a skinny, ivory-skinned English student around his cock.

Isak’s eyes squeezed shut at the memory. He shook off the feeling of abject humiliation that had swept over him when Eirik looked up and smirked, his eyes begging apologies while he was still balls-deep in his latest conquest. That kid hadn’t been the first. Nor would it have been the first time Eirik had pleaded for forgiveness, forgiveness Isak inevitably granted.

But something in Isak had ruptured that day. A piece of him had broken off – finally, after a string of failed relationships – and floated off into the ether.

He wondered if he’d ever get it back.

Taking in his appearance one last time, the ill-fitting suit jacket and the overgrown curls, Isak met his own green eyes in the mirror and winced. He looked so much older than he was. He looked worn out, which he was. Yet, he forced a smile onto his too-dry lips and took a deep breath. This week wasn’t an extended pity party for Isak, this was about Jonas and Mikael. Their joy.

As he made his way down to the dinner party planned for that evening, Isak hoped he could absorb a little of that joy. Just enough to get him through the next week or so.

Flåmstova Restaurant was packed with locals and tourists alike. Situated at the mouth of the fjord, the venue promised stunning views. The hostess met Isak at the door with a welcoming smile.

“I’m here for-“

“The wedding party? You’ll find them in our Peisestova Tasting Room.” She stepped from behind her station to point Isak toward a smaller room that sat adjacent to the restaurant’s main area.

“ _Takk_.” Isak thanked the woman and wound his way there. It was decorated in the same rustic, homey style as the main restaurant, and had the addition of a fireplace. It was too warm to light it, but Isak could picture the space in the quiet cold of winter and made a mental note to come back when the area was blanketed with white. Maybe even bring someone with whom he could share such a romantic setting.

“Stop it,” Isak muttered to himself just as he spotted Jonas across the room chatting with a small group of people.

Jonas looked up from his conversation and smiled, beckoning Isak to join him.

The relief that Isak felt was a surprise to him. He generally did well in social situations, having finally mastered the illusion of confidence and ease he needed when he was forced to be around people he didn’t know. It had been years since he'd used a friend like a crutch to get through a party. And Jonas couldn’t be that tonight, even if he wanted to, being one-half of the couple people had come to see.

Isak stepped into Jonas’s hug, which was tight – like he hadn’t seen Isak in ages.

“Hey, bro.” Jonas spoke into Isak’s ear. “Glad you came down for this.”

Isak leaned back, confused. “Why wouldn’t I?”

Jonas shrugged. “I know things haven’t been great for you lately,” he said softly enough for the others present not to hear.

Isak had heard, though, and the guilt he’d managed to shove aside came back in waves. Isak’s love life should have been the last thing on Jonas’s mind.

“I’m fine.” Isak tried to make himself believe the words.

“Define fine,” Jonas countered, clearly unconvinced.

Isak couldn’t hold his friend’s gaze. Instead, he let his own sweep over the room.

“Where’s your fiancé?”

As expected, Jonas smiled and did his own visual sweep of the guests.

“Last time I saw him, he’d been cornered by his mom’s sister.”

Isak arched an eyebrow. “The kooky one?”

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Jonas nod and – sure enough – he soon spotted Mikael.

He looked good in his well-tailored suit jacket. Happy. Loved.

The woman that had literally cornered him into conversation was like something Isak had only seen in old movies. Dressed in paisley and fringe, she wore every colour of the rainbow. Her dark hair sat on her shoulders in a frothy pouf, and her make-up was worthy of a Russian mime.

As if he were reading Isak’s mind, Jonas chuckled. “Mathilda is like a creature from another era, isn’t she?”

“Or another planet,” Isak joked, turning back to face Jonas.

“Yah, she’s otherworldly, alright.” His laugh was cut-off abruptly by whatever had caught his attention. His eyes widened and he clasped both of Isak’s arms tight enough to bruise. Jonas couldn’t seem to decide where to look, at Isak or at whatever he'd seen.

Jonas winced. “So… I may have failed to mention something to you.”

Isak knew that look. He sighed heavily, rolling his eyes. “Please tell me you aren’t trying to set me up with one of your friends. I’m not in any shape to meet someone new.”

Jonas continued to look back and forth between Isak’s face and whatever – or whomever – was behind Isak, on the other side of the room.

“Well…. I don’t want to introduce you to anyone _new_.”

Isak relaxed but his respite only lasted a moment as Jonas met his eyes and held his gaze. The man looked terrified, and realization hit Isak like an iron fist to the gut. He could feel the blood drain from his face.

“Jonas…” Isak stepped back, needing to break away, but Jonas held firm, pulling him away from the crowd.

They stopped in front of a window. Across the fjord, Isak could see lights dotting the otherwise dark mountainside and he wished for that darkness to swallow him. Wished for quiet. Wished for anything but to have his past dumped on him like this.

Jonas shook him lightly. “Look, before you bolt, hear me out.”

But Isak couldn’t hear anything but the rush of blood in his ears. No. No no no no, this was _not_ happening.

“I-I-I didn’t even know you guys had kept in touch with him.” Isak was practically hyperventilating, and neither of them had even said the man’s name.

Even.

“Jesus, Issy, calm down.”

Jonas released one of Isak’s arms to raise his hand. For one terrifying moment, Isak thought he was waving for Even to come over and nearly sagged with relief when a waiter appeared at their sides with a tray of champagne.

Jonas grabbed a flute and shoved it under Isak’s nose. “Drink this.”

Isak didn’t need to be told twice. He fisted the glass and drained it in one swallow.

Jonas nodded. “Good, have another.”

The second one went down just as easily as the first, and Isak felt the wine’s effect almost immediately. He was still on edge, but the edge was more a dull panic than the full-blown attack he’d been heading for. He still held Jonas’s arm in a death grip.

“Breathe.”

Isak inhaled slowly.

“And listen.”

Isak exhaled and shook his head. “Why did… How could you do this to me?”

Jonas’s voice was a low growl. “First of all, I’m sorry I forgot to mention it. Second, no one is _doing_ anything to you. Mikael and Even have been friends since elementary school. Third, stop being so fucking dramatic. So what, you had a summer fling half-a-decade ago. It ended amicably, didn’t it?”

Jonas waited and Isak nodded.

“Yeah, but-“

“But nothing. Even isn’t one of your loser exes and I don’t want you to treat him that way.”

Isak closed his eyes and shivered. “You don’t understand.”

“What don’t I understand?” Jonas’s voice had softened, as had his grip on Isak’s arm. He squeezed it gently. “How could I understand when you never talk about it? All I know is you and Even had a fun summer together, and then he went off to film school in New York.”

Isak wanted to tell him. He wanted to say it had been so much more than just fun, and had felt like a whole hell of a lot more than just one summer, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t tell Jonas he’d fallen head-over-heels for Even. Couldn’t tell him that it had broken his heart to let Even go, to not follow him to New York. He’d never even told Even. How could he have?

“Hey.”

At the sound of Even’s voice, Isak’s heart took off on a gallop and he closed his eyes.

Jonas gave his arm one last squeeze before letting go. “Hey, man! Good to see you.”

Beside him, Even and Jonas embraced and exchanged greetings while Isak slowly knit himself back together.

Another waiter passed by, and Isak grabbed a third glass of champagne before he turned to see the face that had haunted his dreams for five long years. He had a moment to study Even’s profile, the blond waves that kissed his nape, the pillowy lips that stretched into an easy smile, the button nose. Then ocean blue eyes slid his way. For a moment, Isak was frozen in a still life painting. He could almost feel Jonas holding his breath.

“Hey, Isak.”

The voice was so fucking soft and velvety smooth that Isak had to drain half his glass before answering.

“Even.” He swallowed past the sudden lump in his throat. “Hi.”

+++

_Five years ago_

“Whatcha doing?” Even plopped down on the blanket, blocking Isak’s sunlight.

He’d finally found a quiet moment to study and wasn’t happy about the interruption. Isak could hear feint music in the near distance, and laughter. He’d hoped that Even, Jonas, and Mikael had found a way to entertain themselves for a few hours, leaving Isak in peace.

“I’m reading.”

“What’re you reading?” Even leaned in close and peered down at the book in Isak’s hand.

Isak tried not to breathe in the scent of the man stretched out beside him. Even had proven to be a dangerous distraction for Isak. He had sworn off men for a while, and Even’s constant flirting did nothing to discourage Isak’s neglected libido.

“Nothing interesting.”

Even arched an eyebrow. He was squinting in the bright sunlight and it made him look ridiculous, and adorable, and entirely too kissable.

Isak grunted and turned to his other side. He’d been propped on his elbow, the book on the blanket beside him as he hovered over it.

Even sat up and dropped his chin to Isak’s shoulder. That simple contact created a bolt of lust that shot straight to Isak’s groin. He closed his eyes and silently counted back from ten.

Their first few days on the road, Isak thought Even was just an incorrigible flirt. And while that may have been true, Isak had quickly come to realize that Even wasn’t flirting to get attention, it’s just how he was. Who he was.

Even was open and friendly in a way that Isak had rarely encountered, in a way that baffled him. When Even asked how you were, he genuinely wanted to know.

“If it’s not interesting,” Even began, leaning against Isak’s back. “Then why are you wasting such a beautiful day on it?”

The four of them had stopped in the village of Grinde to pick up supplies before heading to the tiny, lakeside cabin they’d stay in for the next few days.

The place was cozy and reflected its early-twentieth-century charm with a simple, old-fashioned style. The ground floor housed a small living room and kitchen, and the cabin’s only bathroom, while the second floor contained three sleeping areas. Jonas and Mikael called it rustic, while Even had gone with quaint. Isak, however, needed his modern conveniences and was relieved to find that the kitchen and bathroom had recently been remodeled.

Between the stone patio, the perfectly manicured lawn, and the lake itself a mere seventy-five meters from the back door, there was plenty of room for four grown men to spread out.

But no. Even always seemed to invade Isak’s space. Isak, who wasn’t great company even on his best days. Yet, Even hovered around him. Isak wondered if maybe the guy was just lonely. Who else would tag along on a trip like this?

Isak snorted to himself. Isak would, that’s who.

“What’s funny?” Even grinned at him, clearly eager to get in on the joke. His smile was sweet and sexy all at the same time, and it did funny things to Isak’s stomach. Things he’d been trying not to think about since the moment they met.

Like the kiss Even had wanted to give him. The one he’d said Isak needed. Even didn’t know how true that was, but Isak wasn’t ready to go there. Not with Even. Not with anyone, really.

Isak rolled to his stomach, putting some distance between them, and flipped to the next page. “Molecular Biology.”

There. That should get rid of him.

“Wow.” Even’s voice was full of awe and Isak turned to look at him, certain he’d misheard it.

Even stretched out on his stomach, propping himself up on his elbows. His position mirrored Isak’s and he leaned over to look down at the page. The movement brought the tendrils of his hair into Isak’s face.

Isak froze as the silky threads brushed across his nose and lips. He resisted the overwhelming urge to inhale the scent of Even’s shampoo, but he did close his eyes and let himself have the moment. Even’s voice as he read from the text, Even’s soft hair tickling his face.

“Immune cell recognition of anti...antiguh…antigens – what are those?” Even laughed to himself before continuing. “Immune cell recognition of antigens is a pivotal process in initiating immune responses against injury.”

Isak was lost in the sensations bombarding him. He took a breath, which was a mistake because now he could smell Even, an intoxicating mixture of masculine sweat, something spicy like cardamom, and the mint gum he was always chewing. He didn’t realize he’d pressed his lips to Even’s hair until Even moved.

Isak lost his balance and almost fell on his face. He would have, were it not for Even’s hand on his shoulder.

“You okay?”

Isak nodded, not trusting his voice.

“Man, you’re exhausted. Look at you.” Even frowned, his eyes full of worry. He sat up. “Come here.”

Isak shook his head to clear it. “What?”

Even stretched his legs out in front of him. “Come lie on me.”

Suddenly alert, Isak sat up and scooted away from temptation. “Why the fuck would I do that?”

Even’s eye-roll was too endearing. “I’m not going to jump your bones. Rest your head on my thigh and close your eyes. I’ll read to you.”

Isak’s jaw unhinged. All he could do was stare at the strange, exotic creature sitting across from him. Sunlight danced in Even’s golden hair and his grin was nothing short of impish.

“What…? Why would…?”

“Because,” Even began before reaching out and tugging on the sleeve of Isak’s t-shirt.

To his surprise, Isak found himself moving.

“Your eyes are red, which means they’re tired. But you seem determined not to have any fun on this trip, what with your nose buried in these books, so let’s kill two birds with one stone. Lie down and I’ll read to you.”

Even guided Isak to his back until he lay perpendicular to Even with his head on Even’s surprisingly comfortable thigh.

“This is crazy,” Isak muttered even as he complied.

“You like to use that word a lot,” Even replied in a tone Isak couldn’t decipher.

Before he could think on it further, Even brushed his fingers gently over Isak’s eyes.

“Close.”

One last flash of blue sky and a puckish grin before Isak obeyed.

“Good boy.”

Isak snorted. “You’ll make a great dad someday.”

“Aww.” Even swept a curl out of Isak’s face, sending a shiver down his body that he fought hard to suppress. “That’s the first nice thing you’ve said to me.”

Even’s voice had grown soft and the air between them seemed charged. Isak opened his eyes but Even was reaching for the book. Isak had a moment to take in the sight above him. The sun was high in the sky above them, turning Even’s hair into a halo of fire. It was one of the most beautiful things Isak had ever seen and he drew a quick, involuntary breath.

“Hey.” Even turned back to Isak, book in hand. “What did I ask you to do?”

Isak shook his head, fighting off a grin, and closed his eyes. He rested his hands on his abdomen and knit his fingers together to keep from fidgeting or, worse, reaching for Even.

“So bossy.”

Even snorted. “You have no idea. Okay, so… Breakthroughs over the past decade support a major role for mechanical forces in immune responses…”

The warmth of the sun on his face, the heat of Even’s body beneath his neck, and the sound of Even’s voice accompanied by birdsong and rustling leaves sent waves of calm into Isak’s bloodstream. He drifted on them and slipped into a dreamless sleep, at peace for the first time in what felt like forever. The last thing he heard before going under was Even’s soft whisper.

“ _Faen_ , Isak… You’re too pretty for words.”

Another gentle sweep of a fingertip across his forehead, and then there was nothing.


	3. Catch-Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even. Once an enigma, always an enigma. Once a temptation, a temptation still. Isak is so screwed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aww, thank you for the love! I'm doing my best to update fairly regularly. I'm writing in-between two deadlines, so I appreciate your patience. I hope you're still enjoying this. Seems it's turning into a bit of a slow-burn. Hope you don't mind! I love torturing these boys with each other. ;)
> 
> Takk!  
> Xio

After muttering a cursory hello and feigning a need for the restroom, Isak had managed to avoid most of the awkwardness of seeing Even again. For the moment. He felt foolish and knew it was only a matter of time before Even found him. He’d had that look in his eye, the one that held questions Isak didn’t want to answer.

_How have you been?_

_What are you doing these days?_

_Why did you let me go to New York without you?_

Okay, maybe not that last one.

The seating arrangements for the dinner were lax, and Isak made sure to find a table with only one seat left. He took it, finding himself across from a couple of his old secondary schoolmates, Magnus and Mahdi.

The pair were deep in conversation when Isak arrived. Mahdi sat on the end, so Isak took the seat across from Magnus.

“Hey, boys.”

“Well fuck me!” Magnus exclaimed, a wide smile on his face. He looked older, more mature, which was incongruous with the Magnus of Isak’s memories.

“Isak, bro, how are you?” Mahdi reached out to squeeze Isak’s shoulder with a firm grip.

“I thought you’d died or something. Haven't seen you in ages.”

Isak laughed nervously. “Ah, no. Not dead, just teaching.”

“You’re a professor?”

The resonance in Even’s voice sent a thrill through Isak. He turned to find Even standing behind him, his expression a lot curious and not a little amused. Like he knew Isak had been avoiding the inevitable.

“Yeah, at UiO.”

“That’s so fucking weird,” Magnus offered, drawing Isak's attention back to him. “I mean, I always knew you were a nerd, but a teacher? You?” He shook his head. “I never would have guessed.”

Mahdi grinned and gave Isak a knowing look. “Nah, it makes sense. He was always the brainiest of us.”

Isak’s blush was unexpected. He smiled at Mahdi. “Thanks, man. What about you?”

“Oh, haven’t you heard? Mahdi’s, like, one of Copenhagen’s most famous chefs.” Magnus beamed with pride.

“You moved to Denmark?”

“Yeah," Mahdi nodded. "I ended up finishing my Economics degree there. I worked part-time in a restaurant in Nørrebro and fell in love with food.”

Isak laughed. “You were always in love with food, Mahdi.”

He grinned, his dimples popping. “Yeah, well, I fell in love with actually creating it. I was surprised to find how easily it came to me, cooking.”

“That’s fantastic,” Even complimented Mahdi, who gave him a look.

Isak realized neither Magnus nor Mahdi had any idea who Even was.

“Uh, _gutter_ , this is Even. Even, _gutta_.”

Even chuckled. “Hi, _gutter_.”

“Mahdi.” He offered Even his hand to shake.

Magnus reached across to shake Even’s hand as well. “Magnus.”

“Do you work with Isak?” Mahdi was sizing Even up, no doubt wondering if he and Isak were a couple.

Isak had come out to his friends in high school and they’d all been incredibly supportive.

“No, Isak and I met on a road trip we took about five years ago.”

Mahdi tilted his head and his gaze slid to Isak. “Five years ago?”

Oh. Shit.

Magnus bolted upright in his chair as if he’d been struck by lightning. “Oh, you’re _that_ Even?”

Even looked at Isak, amused. “Which Even am I?”

Isak struggled to breathe. He wanted the floor to open up and swallow him. A voice boomed from the speakers overhead.

“Friends, family, please take your seats, the dinner service is about to begin.”

“Saved by the bell,” Even teased, winking at Isak.

He felt that wink down to his toes. Fuck.

“I better go find a seat.” Even turned his head to look around the room.

Isak exhaled with relief, but it was short-lived.

“Oh, you can have this one.” Mahdi rose to his feet. “I’m over there with my wife. I just came by to chat with Magnus for a bit.”

Even looked down at Isak, no doubt noticing what must have been his panic-stricken expression. Wordlessly, he seemed to ask permission, but Isak was frozen. Even turned to Mahdi.

“You’re sure?”

Magnus answered hurriedly. “Of course! Sit.”

“Thanks.” Even lowered himself into the chair. His knee brushed Isak’s and Isak jerked away as if he’d been burned.

Isak looked at Even, who frowned at him and folded his arms, resting his elbows on the table.

“I don’t know that many people here,” Even said, sounding chagrined. “Thanks for letting me crash.”

“No problem,” Magnus said, smiling. “I’ve been wanting to meet you.”

Isak’s head snapped toward Magnus so fast he thought he might have sprained his own neck. He glared at the blond, with his slicked back hair and his Steve Jobs turtleneck.

Magnus grinned at him. _Drittsekken._

“So, Even,” Magnus started. “What do you do?”

Even scratched the back of his neck. Nervous, maybe?

“I’m a location scout.” At Magnus’s confused expression, Even added “for film.”

“Oh, that sounds pretty cool!" Magnus said, clearly impressed. "I bet you get to travel a lot for that, eh?”

Even nodded.

Isak tried not to stare at him, really he did, but – if possible – Even had gotten even more gorgeous over the last five years. He’d filled out a bit, and his hair brushed the tops of his shoulders like waves of burnished gold. Isak wanted to run his fingers through it, like he once had. Beneath the table, his fingers twitched against his thigh.

“Isak?”

Isak’s gaze snapped to Magnus. He’d obviously asked him a question and was awaiting an answer. “Uh, yeah?”

Magnus’s grin widened. “I asked you how you liked teaching.”

“Oh, I… It’s, yeah. It’s okay. Good. I, uh…” Fuck. He’d forgotten how to speak.

“Isak’s mind fascinated me when I met him.” Even sat back in his chair as a waiter set a plate of salad in front of him.

When Isak’s salad arrived, he immediately picked up his fork and pushed the greens around his plate, needed something else to focus on.

“Isak was a bit of an oddball in high school,” Magnus said between bites. “He was, like, popular with chicks. You know? We’d go out just about every weekend and he never had any trouble pulling a hot girl. But somehow, he stayed on fives and sixes the entire time we were in school. Little fucking genius.”

Even frowned at Isak. “You dated a lot of girls?”

Isak swallowed the patch of grass he’d shoved into his mouth. Dry. His mouth was so dry. He reached for the glass of white wine that had been poured for him and took two large gulps, almost choking.

Even’s hand on his back didn’t help to calm him but he closed his eyes and tried to concentrate on the feel of it, on Even’s warmth and the sound of his voice.

“You okay?”

Isak nodded. “Yeah.”

He opened his eyes and looked at Even. “Thanks.”

Even’s smile was soft and full of apologies. “Anytime.”

For a moment, there was just them. Just Isak and Even, and the past five years had vanished. Isak wished it were so. Before he could dwell on that thought, he cleared his throat.

“I, uh, before I – you know – before everyone knew,” he explained. “I… Well, I dated a few girls.”

“Sorry, man.” Magnus looked genuinely contrite. “Didn’t know it was a sore subject.”

“It’s not,” Isak assured him. He looked back and forth between Magnus and Even. “It’s really not, I’m just not used t-t-to talking about my, uh, my dating history, such as it is.”

“Subject change, then.” Magnus stabbed a forkful of salad and pointed at Even. “Tell me more about you. Where do you live?”

“Well…” Even thought for a moment, and Isak held his breath for the answer. “Nowhere, at the moment. I’m… I’m between homes, I guess you could say.”

Magnus frowned. “Trouble paying your rent or something?”

“No, nothing like that.” Even took a sip of his wine and smiled. “Let’s just say I’m allergic to the idea of settling down in one place. My career is nomadic by nature. I’m constantly on the move and I need to be mobile. Never know where my job will take me, or for how long.”

“You don’t have a house or an apartment somewhere?” Isak’s anxiety was replaced with a curious concern.

Even shook his head. “Nope.”

“Don’t you have someone, though? Like, a girlfriend? Or…” Magnus’s gaze flicked briefly over to Isak before settling on Even.

“Nah, nothing serious. I meet people all the time. Sometimes we connect, but it’s never anything that’s meant to last.”

And…fuck. That hurt.

Isak swallowed past the bloom of pain in his chest and concentrated on finishing his salad. He could feel Even’s eyes on him.

“That sounds…well…kinda fucking lonely,” Magnus declared.

Isak looked up and met Magnus’s gaze, ashamed of the pity he saw there. Magnus knew, somehow. Despite Isak’s attempts to downplay it all those years ago, Magnus knew that Even had meant more to Isak than he’d let on.

Isak looked away.

“So, Isak. I was hoping I could get your help with something.”

Isak turned to Even, his brows furrowed. “My help? With what?”

“Like I said, I don’t know many people here this week. Just Jonas and Mikael and, well, you.” He offered Isak a sheepish smile. “Can’t really bother the happy couple. So, that leaves you.”

“Wh-what do you want me for, er, from me. I mean,” Isak coughed to clear the embarrassment from his throat. “What do you need help with?”

“I want to take a look around the region while I’m here. It’s for work. We have a film shooting in Norway this winter.” Even shrugged. “Thought you could be my guide.”

Isak frowned, his heart suddenly thumping. “Me? I’m not from around here.”

“No, I know, but…” Even’s gaze flicked at Magnus, who was dutifully pretending not to listen in on the conversation. Even lowered his voice. “I, well, I was hoping we could hang out. I always enjoyed your company, and we had a lot of fun seeing the sights back then.”

All Isak could do was gape at Even. His thoughts raced. Spend the week traipsing up and down the countryside with Even? Could he even do that without his head exploding? Or his heart?

“I…”

“If you have other plans, that’s cool. Just thought I’d ask. No pressure.” Even was rambling, nervous.

“Maybe Magnus could go with you?”

Magnus’s head shot up. “Uh, _nei_. Sorry, man, but Jonas said Vilde’s supposed to be coming this week.”

Isak chuckled. “Still, Magnus? Really?”

Magnus shrugged.

“What can I say? She’s the one that got away.” His tone was more serious than Isak had ever heard from him before. Magnus’s gaze bounced back and forth between Isak and Even. “This might be my chance to set things right.”

Message received, loud and clear.

Even looked at Isak, his expression cautiously hopeful. He waggled his eyebrows.

“I promise, I won’t bite.”

Isak couldn’t stop the burst of laughter that escaped from his mouth.

“Yeah, okay.” Isak exhaled, feeling lighter than he had in ages. “Sure.”

Even’s face lit up like a Christmas tree and Isak’s heartbeat stuttered.

* * *

 

_Five years ago_

“We should at least go see the Stone Monuments.” Mikael was resting on his back, his folded hands beneath his head. Jonas was stretched out on his stomach beside him.

“You guys go ahead, I need to catch up on these chapters.” Isak shook the highlighter in his hand and tried to outline the sentences he’d just read. He knew it was a bit old-fashioned, but he’d found that it actually helped him to remember key information. That and writing it out.

The four of them had been sunbathing on the lawn all morning, having spent the day before on a boat on the fjord. Isak had begrudgingly gone along with those plans because he secretly loved the water. Seeing Even in his tiny swim trunks had been a nice bonus, but Isak had spent far too much time away from his books.

Even, who had dug an honest-to-goodness hackeysack out of his backpack, was playing with the thing, bouncing it off nearly every part of his long frame.

“Isak,” he said mid-strike, a playful warning in his voice. “We talked about this. I don’t mind you working but I demand at least some of your time.”

Isak looked up from the text. “Demand?” Even nodded and Isak arched an eyebrow. “Why should _you_ have any demands on _my_ time?”

“You’re here to keep me entertained,” Even answered without looking at him.

Isak snorted. “Um, excuse me?”

Even flicked the bean sack into the air and deftly caught it with one hand. He leveled Isak with a look that made his insides swoop like he was on a roller coaster.

Isak could feel the smirk fall off his own lips. “I mean…” He didn’t know what he meant to say and had no time to think of anything before Even sauntered over to him.

Even wore cut-off jean shorts that showed off his long legs and a tank top with an obscenely juicy peach on the front that made Isak’s mouth water.

Isak had never been confronted with such effortless sensuality, nor had he ever garnered the attention of someone like Even. Someone so completely comfortable in his own skin.

Even crouched down and Isak had to strain his neck to look up at him.

“My little bookworm,” Even said, the words dripping from his lips like a caress.

Isak’s breath caught.

“I’ll make you a deal.” Even removed his sunglasses, unleashing those brilliant blue eyes of his. As usual, Isak was mesmerized. “Let’s you and me get out of here and give those two some alone time.”

Even looked behind Isak and Isak suddenly realized it had gone quiet. He turned his head to follow Even’s gaze and found Mikael and Jonas liplocked in a passionate embrace.

“Oh!” Isak started and looked back at Even. “Yeah, I… Right.”

Even smirked and pointed at the stack of books as Isak sat up. “These stay here. I want you to myself.”

Isak blinked up at him, trying not to read too much into those words.

“Come on, bookworm.”

Isak had no choice but to take his hand and stand as commanded.

“We’ll see you two later,” Even called out as he guided Isak down toward the lake. “Let’s walk a bit.”

Isak nodded and followed along. The weather was gorgeous, not too hot, and there was a light breeze coming off the water. They walked in companionable silence, which surprised Isak. He’d thought Even would pepper him with questions or ramble on about something, as he’d done over the last few days.

Instead, Even was quiet. He'd picked up a branch from the shoreline and was using it to poke at various rocks as they strolled. He seemed lost in his thoughts and it gave Isak a chance to study him.

There was a feint-but-tiny, jagged scar near the base of his skull, just behind Even’s left ear. Isak wondered how he’d gotten it. He wondered where Even had bought the peach tank top, and why. He wondered what sort of music Even listened to and, before he could stop himself, he opened his mouth to ask.

“Oh, I like all sorts,” Even answered. “My mom played a lot of new wave when I was a kid. Depeche Mode, Joy Division, that sort of thing.” He looked at Isak who shook his head. “The Cure?”

“Oh, yeah. I know The Cure.”

Even smiled. “Great band.”

Isak nodded and then shrugged. “Well, I only know a few songs.”

“Yeah? Which ones?”

Isak struggled to think of a title. “ _Friday, I’m in Love_. That’s theirs, right?”

Even’s eyes lit up.

“Yeah! That’s a fantastic song.” He began to hum and Isak recognized the melody. “What others?”

Isak’s step faltered. “Um…” He scratched his cheek. “That’s the only one I can think of.”

They’d stopped at the edge of a wooded area. It was fairly remote, quite and peaceful. To Isak, it was like he and Even were the only two people in the world. Even climbed to sit on a large boulder that rested on the edge of the water. He held out a hand to help Isak up.

“Thanks.”

“Of course.” Even smiled at him, taking much too long to let go of Isak’s hand. He looked into Isak’s eyes for a long moment and then smiled.

Isak smiled back. “What?”

Even shook his head. “Nothing, I don’t know.” He turned to face the water, squinting in the bright sunshine.

Feeling bold, Isak nudged Even’s shoulder. “Come on, what?”

Even shook his head again, but glanced sideways at Isak. “No, it’s… It’s just that I get it, now, why Mikael wanted me to meet you.”

“He did?”

“Oh, yeah. For a while now.”

Well, this was news to Isak. “What do you mean?”

Even picked up a pebble and tossed it out over the water in a long arc. He didn’t speak again until the stone had disappeared beneath the surface.

“Mikael thinks I’m flighty,” Even started. “He thinks I need someone to ground me.”

Isak frowned. “I don’t think you’re flighty.”

Even chuckled. “You’ve known me for less than a week.”

“True but that’s not a word I’d use to describe you.”

Even looked at Isak, his eyes soft and kind. “No? What word would you use then?”

Isak had trouble holding Even’s blue gaze. He dropped his eyes to the stone surface beneath his crossed legs and picked at a bit of scaling he found there. He shrugged one shoulder.

“I dunno. You’re… Alive.”

Even let out a sharp laugh. “Well, I sure hope so.”

Isak laughed at his own inability to articulate his thoughts. “What I mean is… You’re… You just _go_ for things, you know? I mean, I haven’t known you that long – as you said – but that much is clear. You seem like the kind of guy who knows what he wants and isn’t afraid to go after it. No matter what other people might think.”

“Is that a touch of envy I hear in your voice, bookworm?”

Isak rolled his eyes. “Don’t call me that.”

“Why not? You love it.” Even winked at him and Isak’s eyelids fluttered. Actually fluttered. “Don’t you.”

It wasn’t a question.

Instead of responding, Isak went back to picking at the scale on the rock. “That’s what I mean, though. You just… You say things a-a-and _do_ things, things I’d never…”

“Like what?”

_Like the time you promised to kiss me._

“Like… I don’t know.” Isak shrugged again. “It’s just the impression I get.”

Even took a deep breath and put his hands behind him, leaning his weight on them. It brought him that much closer to Isak, close enough for Isak to feel the hair of Even’s arm tickling his own.

“Well, I don’t know that I’m as brave as you make me sound, but I’m very glad I’ve made some sort of impression on you.” Even’s voice had grown deeper, a little rough around the edges.

Isak’s gaze flew to Even’s face. “Huh? Why?”

Even’s smile was slow. “I think you know why.”

Isak had no clue what to say to that because he did know. He knew Even wanted him. Why? He’d never understand. Isak wasn’t anything special. He had a string of pseudo-boyfriends behind him, and his sex life was bordering on puritanical.

Yet, there Even was - looking at Isak as if he could eat him alive. Isak shivered, unable to keep his attraction to Even hidden any longer. His gaze was glued to Even’s perfect, kissable mouth.

“You know,” Even started, nearly whispering. “They have a lot of great music.”

Isak blinked. “Huh? Who?”

“The Cure.” Even’s gaze dragged along the length of Isak’s body before returning to his eyes. He drew his bottom lip between his teeth and bit down lightly.

Isak swallowed hard as lust flooded his veins. He’d never been this attracted to anyone, had never been turned on so quickly and by so little.

“ _Kiss Me, Kiss Me, Kiss Me._ ”

Isak startled. “What?”

Even’s chuckle was low, almost a breath. “It’s an album. By The Cure.”

Was it Isak’s imagination, or was Even leaning into him? He closed his eyes and felt Even’s soft hair brush his forehead. Warm breath ghosted across Isak’s cheek and he took a shaky breath. What was this life?

Because things like this never happened to Isak. He never got soft, never got sweet.

“Even…”

Isak never got to finish his thought.

“There you guys are!”

Isak reared back so fast at the sound of Mikael’s voice, he nearly toppled off his perch on the rock.

Even grabbed him by the arm, preventing him from falling the three meters to the hard ground below.

Isak met Even’s eyes, which were wide. Searching. His grip on Isak’s arm was tight, even after the danger had passed.

Jonas jogged over to them and Even dropped his hand.

Isak wanted to groan at the loss of contact. Worse, he wanted to whine like a toddler after missing out on what would probably have been the best kiss of his life.

“Yo!” Even stood up and jumped down from the rock, leaving Isak to his own devices. “Are you guys finished hooking up already? Ready to see the sights?”

“We’re going to check out the Stones and then grab some lunch,” Mikael supplied.

“You in?” Jonas looked back and forth between Isak and Even.

“Count me in, but I think bookworm here is antsy. Apparently, he’s got a ton of work to do.”

Isak opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out. He wanted to go with them. He wanted to spend more time with Even, more time getting to know him. Even, it seemed, couldn't wait to get away from Isak.

Had he misread everything?

“I, uh, yeah. Even’s right. I have work to do.”

Jonas scowled. “Dude, straight up. Are you going to skip out on us the whole trip?”

“Hey, don’t be mad,” Even chided Jonas. “Isak’s got his priorities in order. If he says he needs to get this shit done, then let’s leave him alone to do that.” He looked up at Isak.

Isak was frozen on the spot and confused as hell.

Even gave him one sharp nod.

“Thanks.” Isak’s voice sounded weak to his own ears. He jumped down and followed the others back to the cabin, trying not to be jealous of the easy banter between the three of them.

When they piled into the van and left Isak behind to go on their outing, the small cabin suddenly seemed cavernous. Isak went to the fridge and pulled out a beer. There was no way he could study. His thoughts were a tornado and at the epicenter stood one tall, beautiful blond man. A man who had given Isak whiplash with his ability to run hot and cold on him. A man Isak wanted more than anyone before him.

“Fuck.”

Isak chugged his beer, tugged on his swim trunks, and headed down to the lake. Maybe a good swim would cool his libido and clear his head. Yeah. Maybe.


	4. Merry Go Round

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The more things change, the more they stay the same.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a long chapter, well longer than I intended. I hope you enjoy it! As always, thank you for your support.
> 
> ~Xio  
> oxo

Isak wasn’t sure how he ended up sleeping in the middle of a construction zone, but he wanted to murder everyone involved. Every cell in his brain throbbed rhythmically in time with the swing of some idiot’s hammer, which was painfully precise and slow, as if it were designed to torture Isak and Isak alone.

He reached blindly for something to cover his head, refusing to open his eyes, and stopped short when his hand met a warm body. Isak froze, his fingers splayed across an expanse of smooth skin.

His thoughts tumbled over themselves trying to assert where he was, how he’d gotten there, and what the bloody hell he’d done the night before.

“ _God morgen_ ,” a low voice rumbled.

Oh shit. Had Isak brought someone home with him last night? And from where?

“Head hurt?”

Isak nodded and immediately regretted it. “Yeah,” he croaked, his voice sounding like hard-soled shoes on coarse sand.

The man in his bed chuckled. “Nothing ever changes.”

Isak needed to open his eyes, he needed to get this man out of his bed. Or maybe he was in the man’s bed? Fuck.

“Where…?”

“We’re in your room,” the voice answered before Isak could ask. “And before you start to panic, no we didn’t fuck.”

Both relief and annoyance rushed through Isak’s limp body. He brought a hand to his face, dragging it roughly across his skin before he let out a long-suffering exhale.

Okay.

Time to man-up.

Isak opened his eyes. The stark white of the ceiling stabbed into his brain like a knife and he groaned, immediately covering his face again.

“Poor baby,” the man said, chuckling again. “Here. Drink.”

A gentle hand slid under Isak’s head and, before he could protest, it tilted him up off the pillow. Cool glass was pressed to his lips.

“Slowly,” the man insisted.

Isak was too weak to argue, so he drank. And drank. And drank until the water was gone.

“Good boy, bookworm.”

Isak nearly choked. He scrambled to sit up, ignoring the dizziness and nausea that threatened to swallow him whole as he took in his surroundings. As he took in the half-naked man casually sprawled out on the bed next to him.

Even Bech Næsheim. Who laughed at him, his eyes soft.

“Don’t panic. Nothing happened.”

“Why are you in my room?” It all came back in a rush, well most of it. The wedding, the dinner, seeing Even, the wine. More wine. Lots of wine.

Even sat up and leaned against the headboard.

Isak was relieved to see that, despite being shirtless, Even was wearing pants. He tried not to let his eyes, or his thoughts, linger on the expanse of lean muscle and the fine dusting of hair on Even’s creamy skin. Looking away, he swallowed.

“You drank a lot of wine at dinner, more than I’ve known you to drink.” Even’s voice was a mixture of concern and amusement.

For some reason, Isak bristled. “You haven’t seen me in five years, so don’t presume to know what I do or don’t do.”

Even crossed his arms and arched an eyebrow. “You’re right, I shouldn’t presume. But since you told me over and over, ‘I don’t usually drink this much’, I’m going to go ahead and take you at your word.”

Isak shifted, his head pounding. “What is that godawful hammering?”

Even frowned.

“Hammering?” He looked over at the window and turned back to Isak with a grin. “I think they’re assembling some party tents. I barely noticed.”

“Yeah, well, maybe it’s because your brain isn’t trying to force its way out of your skull with a dull spoon.”

Even’s laugh was loud. He caught himself, wincing with apology.

Isak groaned and slid back down to lie under the covers. He still wore the shirt and pants he’d had on the night before. His shoes and socks had been removed and he could see them over by the dresser. On top, he spotted his wallet and his cellphone had been plugged in to charge.

Isak rolled his head to look up at Even. “Thanks for, uh, for looking after me last night. You didn’t have to do that.”

Even’s smile was soft, and he slid down to his side, propping himself up on one elbow so that he looked down at Isak.

The swoop in Isak’s stomach had nothing to do with the alcohol still parading through his system, and everything to do with being in such close proximity to the one guy who had ever gotten under his skin.

“I did, though. Magnus and Vilde disappeared to parts unknown, and I didn’t want you to hurt yourself trying to get back up here.”

“Vilde is here?”

Even nodded.

“Fuck, I don’t even remember seeing her.”

Even’s gaze, which has been wandering all over Isak’s face, dropped to the sheet. He ran long fingers over a small flower design that hade been embroidered into the border.

“No, I don’t think you saw her. You were…pre-occupied.”

“Shit.” Isak was mortified. He never drank to the point of missing memories.

“Anyway, yeah. Who else was going to take care of you? Mikael and Jonas were busy with their other guests.”

“Why did you stay, though?” Isak was dying to know what had really passed between them.

Even shrugged one shoulder. When he spoke, his voice was quiet. “You asked me to.”

Isak’s pulse jumped. Oh no. What had he done? What had he _said_ to Even, who wouldn’t meet his eyes now?

“Even.”

After a beat of silence, Even finally looked up. Isak saw some raw emotion he couldn’t identify pass behind those sparkling blue eyes before Even shuttered it away with another grin.

“So,” he began, rolling off the bed and standing up. “I hope you haven’t forgotten your promise.”

“Promise?”

“Yep!” Even’s enthusiasm didn’t ring true for Isak, but he didn’t press. “You promised to accompany me today.”

“To where?”

Even leveled Isak with a look. “We’re hiking up to a goat farm. I’m meeting with the owners about using it for the film I told you about. Remember?”

A snippet of conversation dislodged itself from the shadows of Isak’s mind. He nodded.

“I don’t think I’m in any shape to hike today, Even.” Isak plopped back down on the bed, feeling boneless and tired beyond belief. The incessant throb in his head had only waned a little after the glass of water.

“Nonsense,” Even stated. “We’ll get some pain relievers and some food in you, some more water – lots and lots of water – and you’ll be just fine.”

Isak closed his eyes. “Just the thought of food makes me want to hurl.”

When Even spoke again, Isak realized he was standing next to bed, right over him.

“All the more reason for you to eat. Lots of bread, some eggs for protein, and maybe something greasy to settle your stomach.”

Isak cracked one eye open, looking up at Even skeptically. “That will settle my stomach?”

Even grinned. “Trust me.”

And he did. Isak trusted Even, always had. A big part of him, a part Isak wasn’t sure he could trust, wanted to spend as much time with Even as possible. He’d only gotten two weeks of him five years ago, and this time it would be even less. Isak wasn’t sure his heart could handle it.

But the alternative was almost unacceptable. Isak couldn’t _not_ be with Even if he had the chance, even if it was only for a few days. Besides, it wouldn’t be like last time. Isak wouldn’t let it. He’d protect himself from his own stupidity.

“One condition,” Isak said, the strength of his own voice surprising him.

“Sure.”

“Just friends.”

Even looked puzzled. “Huh?”

Swinging his legs over the bed, Isak sat up and planted his feet on the floor. Immediately, Even’s hand was on his shoulder.

“You okay?”

Isak nodded. “I mean, we’re hanging out as friends. Nothing more. Right?”

Again, there was that look in Even’s eyes. Again, it was gone before Isak could dissect it.

“Yeah, sure. Of course. Just friends.”

And as the words were repeated back to him in Even’s resonant baritone, Isak felt a wave of sadness wash over him.

Judging by the look on Even’s face, he’d felt it too.

 

* * *

 

After showering and changing, Isak met Even in the hotel’s restaurant for a quick-but-hearty breakfast. Then, from Flåm harbor, Isak and Even took a short boat ride to Skjerdal. The fresh air cleared a lot of the cobwebs from Isak’s brain and he closed his eyes, breathing it in. He’d expected Even to chat the entire time, but he was too busy taking photos with the Canon Mark II he’d brought along.

Once or twice, Isak thought he’d caught the lens pointed directly at him. He’d arched an eyebrow.

Even had only shrugged, winked, and gone back to work.

The hike up to the goat farm was gorgeous. It was a fairly steep climb over lush greenery, past rushing waterfalls and a few other farms. It took a little over an hour, during which Even snapped photos, made notes, and occasionally pointed something out to Isak. He’d done extensive research on the area, and seemed intimately familiar with it, despite having never been there before.

Isak had forgotten this, how easy it was to be with Even. How Even so completely inhabited any space he was in, as if he belonged there, and made you feel like you were the only person in the world he wanted to be with. Share things with. It was one of the reasons he’d fallen so goddamned hard for the guy.

And it was probably a huge mistake to have agreed to spend the day with him, but it was too late to go back now.

Before they arrived at the farmstead, Isak and Even came across some goats in a pasture. The animals were curious and friendly, and crowded around Even like he was their long lost leader. Even’s smiles and laughter provided lots of photo ops for Isak. He took a number on his phone before snagging the 35mm camera from around Even’s neck and taking a few with it.

The man was simply gorgeous in the sunlight, with the blue sky and green mountain around him, and Isak’s heart fluttered in his chest. God, how he’d missed him.

Even looked up and caught Isak staring.

“I think you’ve found your calling,” Isak teased a smiling Even.

“Yeah? Goat farmer?” Even petted a few of the animals as they left the pasture. “Maybe in another life.”

The farmhouse was quaint. The owner, Anna, was younger than Isak had imagined. In her early-thirties, she was petite, with long dark hair and an easy smile. Her hand was warm and weathered when Isak shook it.

“Hope your journey up was okay,” she waved the boys along as she gave them a quick tour of her cheese-making operation.

“It’s stunning up here,” Even breathed with reverence.

Anna beamed. “Well, I can’t take credit for it, of course, but thank you. We locals are proud.”

“Have you always lived here?”

“Oh, yes.” Anna smiled at him. “Except for my time at university, I didn’t want to live anywhere else. My paternal-grandfather’s father started the farm. It’s all I’ve ever wanted, to run this place. To be the first woman to run it.”

“What did you study?” Even snapped a few photos as Isak waited for her to answer.

“Agricultural biology.”

“Naturally,” Isak said.

Anna nodded, smiling. “Naturally.”

Isak tried to imagine growing up in such a place, so far removed from life as he knew it. He wondered what kind of person he would have become had he been born there. What kind of family he might have been born into.

Anna insisted on serving lunch, and the trio enjoyed a homemade meal on her sunny terrace. From their perch, Isak could see all the way down the mountain to the fjord below. Anna filled the table with several varieties of cheeses and sausages from the farm, as well as salad and a simple dessert of pancakes with wild blueberries that she had picked the day before. By the time she’d offered them coffee, Isak was ready for a nap. It was easily the best meal he’d had in a while.

Of course, sharing it with Even may have had something to do with that. He was an attentive guest, asking Anna questions about her cheesemaking process, the care of the goats, and even how she managed in the winter months when access to the nearest town was difficult, at best.

Anna seemed to enjoy Even’s curiosity. “Well, I’m only up here in the spring and summer, you see. Otherwise, I think my husband might just leave me.”

“You’re married?” For some reason, that took Isak by surprise. She hadn’t once mentioned her husband in the hours they’d spent with her.

“Oh, yes. But he doesn’t work the farm with me.”

“Why not?”

Anna turned to Even and shrugged. “He’s from Oslo. Flåm itself is about as rustic as he can handle.”

She laughed and Even joined in.

“Aaron comes up a few times a week. It works for us.”

Isak and Even helped to clear the dishes and leftover food from the table. Afterwards, Even and Anna sat down to discuss the specifics of the film’s location needs.

Feeling the need to give them privacy, Isak excused himself to the bathroom. On the way back, he stopped by a wall of framed photographs. Most were in color, but some were black and white. A few were so grainy, Isak could barely make out the expressions on the subjects’ faces.

He was struck, though, with how deeply Anna’s family was rooted in the farm and the area. Isak had no clue how that might feel, being so tethered to a people and a place. His own father had abandoned him and his mother when Isak was sixteen, and his mother, she was…

“There you are. Ready to go?”

Even’s voice snapped Isak out of his thoughts. He nodded.

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah,” Isak said, clearing his throat. “Of course. Let’s go.”

Anna hadn’t let them leave without a bit of cheese and a promise to visit again. Isak and Even both agreed, and Isak couldn’t help but to picture himself coming back with Even.

The trip down the mountain was a bit more treacherous. At one particularly steep section, Isak slipped on a patch of grass and lost his footing.

Even’s hand shot out, wrapping around Isak’s arm with surprising strength. He hauled Isak upright, causing them to bump into each other.

Isak was already out of breath, and he had even more trouble catching it as he came face-to-face with Even, his warm breath blowing the hair out of Isak’s eyes.

They stared at one another for a long moment.

“You okay?” Even still hadn’t let Isak go.

Isak could only nod, his gaze riveted to Even’s lips.

Even was breathing heavily now, his eyes dark and trained on Isak’s mouth. He cleared his throat and let go of Isak’s arm.

Back on the boat, Even leaned against the railing. He was quiet, lost in thought during the journey, and Isak was content to stand alongside him and enjoy the view, the water, the sunset. Even’s presence.

“Five years,” Even said without preamble.

Isak turned his head to look at him. “Yeah. Time flies, eh?”

When Even looked at Isak, there was a flash of anger in his eyes that made Isak stand up straight. He had not been expecting that.

“Five fucking years, Isak. I haven’t seen or heard from you in five years.” Even shook his head in what looked like disgust.

Isak was at a loss for words. “Are you pissed at me?”

The look Even gave Isak could have frozen the fjord. “I tried to stay in touch with you, like we promised,” he spat. “But you… You just cut me off like I was a…a… I don’t even know. Cancer.”

“No!” Instinctively, Isak put a hand on Even’s arm. The muscles beneath his fingers tensed and he squeezed. “Even, look… I…”

But he didn’t know what to say, how to explain without giving himself away. He patted Even’s arm and folded his own against the railing.

“Life just got away from me, that’s all. I didn’t mean to cut you off, or whatever.”

Except, he had. It had been self-preservation, pure and simple. Isak hadn’t thought it would wound Even, not like this. Not enough to warrant the anger he could feel rolling off Even in waves.

Even turned and leaned one elbow on the railguard. “I _missed_ you, Isak. I miss you.”

Isak steeled himself before he looked at Even again but his breath caught anyway.

Even searched Isak’s face for a few heartbeats. “My life, it’s great. I can’t complain. I love my job, I love to travel, meet people. Like today, you know?”

“Yeah. It must be pretty cool.”

“It is,” Even agreed. “But…”

He inched closer. One hand rose slowly to Isak’s hair, brushing it back from his forehead with a tenderness that threatened to buckle Isak’s knees. Then the hand dropped away and Even sighed heavily.

“Just friends?”

After a beat, Isak nodded.

“Are you sure, Is? Because I never did figure out how to be _just friends_ with you, and I’m pretty sure that’s not what you wanted five years ago.”

Isak shook his head and tried to breathe through the heart attack he knew he was having because, holy shit, he never expected this. Not the way Even’s voice had dropped an octave, and certainly not the way Even was looking at him at the moment. Like he was food.

“And I’m fairly certain it isn’t what you want right now.”

“What are you asking?” Isak was so proud when his voice came out steady because he was pretty sure he was about to shake apart at the seams.

Even’s eyes refocused onto Isak’s mouth.

“I’m asking if _just friends_ is what you want now. I’m asking you what you _really_ want right now, because – Isak…?” He exhaled a long, slow breath, his eyes blazing into Isak’s with fury and lust. “You begged me to come to your room last night. Begged me. And I stayed with you, as a friend. I didn’t want to take advantage of you, no matter how tempting and insistent you were. But, Isak? Five years is way too fucking long for me to have gone without kissing you again.”

Memories from the night before poured over Isak like warm honey.

_“I want you, Even.”_

_“Don’t do this, bookworm. You’re beyond drunk. You don’t know what you want.”_

_“I do! I want you,” Isak whined. “Always did. Always will.”_

_“Fuck, Isak. You’re killing me.”_

Isak swayed as phantom lust washed over him. He should have been mortified but found it hard to care. Not with Even so close. Not with Even offering what Isak had wanted so desperately for five long years.

He turned to Even, made sure to meet his eyes with a steady gaze.

“Well then, Even. Don’t wait anymore.”

* * *

 

_Five years ago_

“Are you at least having a little fun?” As they packed up the van, preparing to hit the next destination on their itinerary, Jonas nudged Isak with his shoulder. “Was bringing Even along a colossally bad idea?”

“No, he’s great,” Isak assured him. “A little too great.”

Jonas’s grin was wide. “You like him.”

Isak sighed. “How could anyone not like him? He’s amazing.”

Jonas nodded. “He’s pretty hot, yeah.”

“It’s more than that, though. He’s… He’s kind. Not just nice but kind, and funny, and sweet, and goofy. He makes me laugh.”

“Wow, okay.” Jonas stuffed the backpack in his hand into the back of the van and sat on the bumper. He studied Isak for a moment. “Issy… I’m glad you’re having fun with him, but you do know he’s leaving Norway. Right?”

Isak frowned. “What do you mean?”

“He’s going to film school in the States,” Jonas informed him. “I think he’s set to leave right after we get back to Oslo.”

The feeling of loss hit Isak like a freight train but, along with it, came a dawning understanding. It explained why Even had been so hot and cold with him, why – every time they seemed to get closer – Even kept pulling back.

“I take it he didn’t tell you,” Jonas said, scowling.

Isak smiled. “Don’t get your knickers twisted, it’s not what you think. No, he hadn’t told me but, also, we’re just friends. Nothing’s happened.”

Jonas’s eyebrows shot up. “Wait, what? Seriously? Nothing at all?”

“Nope.” Isak swallowed past his disappointment. They had come close on several occasions. “I mean, there’s attraction for sure, don’t get me wrong. But, knowing what you just told me, I think he’s been… I dunno. Protecting himself. Or me, maybe? So, no. It’s been strictly platonic.”

Jonas snorted. “Isak. Whether or not you two have done the horizontal mambo is beside the point, he is _so_ into you. And you? Shit. I’ve never seen you look at anyone the way you look at him. The heart doesn’t care whether the rest of the body is involved, it wants what it wants. And you, buddy? You want him.”

Isak shrugged. “Maybe. But there’s no point in starting something I can’t finish.”

“I’m not saying marry the guy, I’m saying… Look, Isak, you don’t have the best track record with dudes. And even though you won’t tell me what happened with He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, I know he did a number on your self-confidence.

“On this trip, I’ve seen a side of you I haven’t seen since, well, ever. If Even is the one responsible for that, I should give the guy a fucking medal. Live a little.” Jonas punched Isak lightly in the shoulder. “Let yourself have a little fun.”

“I don’t know how to _have a little fun_ , you know me. I get hung up on people.”

“True.” Jonas lamented. “But… Maybe… Try something different this time? You know it can’t last, because Even’s moving away. Can’t you go into it with your eyes open? Take it for what it is?”

“I don’t know. Maybe.”

Isak tried to picture it, having a casual fling with someone like Even. His body was already on-board, his cock twitching with the thought of being anywhere near Even’s bare skin.

Mikael and Even emerged from the cabin carrying more of their gear.

“Just think about it,” Jonas said just before they arrived.

“Think about what?” Mikael pecked Jonas on the cheek and handed him a box of food.

“Oh, nothing.”

“Secrets?” Even winked at Isak and Isak felt his cheeks fill with warmth.

He was fucking blushing. This guy.

Later that evening, after they’d set up for the night in Bøyum, the four of them relaxed around a small campfire. The summer heat was waning, and the nights getting cooler. Isak loved this time of year, when the days grew shorter and the temperatures began to ease off.

He’d purposefully sat next to Even, closer than he normally would have, and let his leg brush Even’s ever-so-often. Occasionally, Even would give him a curious smile.

Across from them, Jonas and Mikael chatted quietly and made out not-so-quietly. Eventually, they announced their retirement to their tent.

“Goodnight, lovebirds.” Even teased the pair as they grabbed their empty beer cans.

Jonas gave Isak a look, arching one eyebrow.

Isak glared at him.

After the couple disappeared, Even offered Isak another beer. Clearly, he was in no hurry to end the evening, which was just fine by Isak. He had an agenda, after all.

“What was that all about?” Even’s tone was deceptively casual.

“What was what all about?” Isak matched Even’s air of nonchalance, playing dumb.

“You and Jonas.”

“Oh,” Isak said before taking a sip of his beer. “That? Well… He shared some info with me that helped me understand some things.”

“Are you being intentionally vague?” Even arched an eyebrow, a smile curving one corner of his mouth.

The fire crackled softly and the night whispered with the voices of a thousand unseen things, but all Isak saw or heard was Even.

Could he do this? Did he even have a choice?

“He, uh… He told me you’re going to school in the States.”

Even nodded.

Isak met his eyes. Held his gaze. “Is that why you keep stopping yourself?”

“Stopping myself?” Even frowned and swallowed hard, his gaze flicking back and forth between Isak’s eyes and his lips.

Isak leaned back on one hand, bringing their faces to within inches of each other.

Even’s eyes were half-lidded as he followed Isak’s movement, and Isak could see his pulse hammering away at his throat.

“I… Isak, I…”

“Because if that’s why, then I want you to know – while I appreciate it – I don’t need you to handle me with kid gloves.”

Even frowned. “Kid gloves?”

“I’m sure Jonas and Mikael filled you in on my breakup… Breakups, plural. And my fucked-up history with guys. On top of that, you’re a couple of years older than me. So, I get why you think you have to treat me like a kid. But I’m not a kid, Even.”

“No.” Even’s voice shook as he elongated the one syllable. “You’re not.”

Isak summoned a courage he didn’t know he had and dropped his forehead to Even’s, delighting when the other man sucked in a quick breath.

“Isak.” It was a warning.

“Am I wrong?” Isak pressed on, rolling his head back and forth, inhaling the scent of the beer on Even’s breath. “Do you not want me?”

“Fuck,” Even breathed.

“’Cause, it’s been hard for me not to just…” Isak lifted his chin enough to brush his lips across Even’s mouth.

They both exhaled shaky breaths.

“I don’t… We shouldn’t…”

“Don’t worry about me,” Isak whispered, trembling with a need he’d never felt before. “Just a kiss. One kiss. That’s all I’m asking. To see… If maybe… Just one.”

“Isak.”

Even was begging now. Whether he was begging for the kiss or begging Isak to release him from whatever it was crackling between them, Isak didn’t know. All he knew was that he wasn’t going to let this slip by him. Not this time.

“Fucking kiss me, Even.”

A broken sound came from the back of Even’s throat before he smashed their mouths together. His tongue swept between Isak’s lips when he gasped, and Isak thought he would implode.

He’d never been kissed like that, not ever.

Even turned, supporting his weight on one hand while the other came up to cup Isak’s jaw. For all of the driving hunger in the kiss, his hand on Isak’s skin was achingly gentle. He tilted Isak’s head, moving him just where he wanted him, and Isak couldn’t stop the moan that spilled out of his chest.

Good. God.

Even broke away, panting. His eyes were closed, and he looked absolutely as wrecked as Isak felt.

“Shit,” he panted. “Holy shit, Is. How…? What are you doing to me?”

Isak didn’t understand the question and didn’t take the time to ponder it before he reached up and sank a hand into Even’s soft hair, pulling him into another scorching kiss.

They slowly ate at each other as Isak sank into desire. The throb between his legs demanded more. More kissing, more Even, just more. He reclined onto the blanket, not even needing to pull Even down with him. The man melted over him like butter.

Even notched their legs together, giving Isak a bit of the pressure that his dick so insistently needed. He groaned into Even’s mouth and was rewarded with Even’s hand on his thigh. Even hiked Isak’s leg up, settling it over his hip before he ground their erections together.

It was Isak’s turn to break the kiss. He gasped as pleasure rippled through him. “Oh my god, Even.”

“What, baby?” Even looked down at him, his eyes feverish. He rolled his hips in a slow circle and Isak felt himself hurtling toward the edge of release.

“Even, I… Please.”

“Tell me.” The command was low, almost a growl. Even’s normally blue eyes were black pools in the low light.

Isak struggled to keep his own eyes open. “If you don’t stop, I’m gonna-“

He didn’t get a chance to finish before Even rolled on top of him, fitting himself between Isak’s legs. He continued moving in slow circles that were clearly designed to shove Isak over the edge.

Isak clutched at Even’s back as he lowered his mouth, kissing Isak as if he were a drowning man and Isak was the oxygen he needed to survive.

When Even ended the kiss, he framed Isak’s face in his hands, staring down at him with something like awe as he rocked and rocked and rocked.

“Come for me, Isak,” he pleaded.

Without warning, pleasure crashed over Isak like the breaking wave of a tsunami. Wet warmth spread inside his boxer-briefs as his cock pulsed out his release. His vision went dim as the orgasm overtook him, but he didn’t miss the joy on Even’s face or the way Even’s brow furrowed and his eyes slid closed just before he shuddered above him.

Isak watched, rapt, as Even rode out his own orgasm. Isak waited while Even caught his breath and slowly opened his eyes.

Even stared down at him for long moments before his thumbs brushed over Isak’s cheeks.

“Goddamit, Is,” Even whispered without heat. He pressed his forehead against Isak’s with a sigh. “What the hell have we done?”


End file.
